The confused albinocerant

The albinocerant is one of those animals that shouldn’t exist. But of all these animals that shouldn’t exist, the albinocerant makes the most sense. First, we have the fact that the albinocerant does have the decency to not exist. And then, well, just look at it. Doesn’t it look magnificent? With its big eyes, its horns on the side, the blackish white of its skin and the long trunk just above its tail? If you’ve never seen a real-life albinocerant, you definitely should go to Havanna, change the H for an S, squint, so it does almost look like you are in the Savanna. And then, just imagine you are getting hit over the head repeatedly with a wet towel while a Norwegian limbo dancer does the Chinese twistomelter in front of you while juggling tigoscissor cats. That’s about what an albinocerant looks like. It might look confused, because it always does. Wouldn’t you look confused if you looked like that? Great animal, I rate it 3 Chinese twistomelters out of four and a half tigoscissor cats (females, obviously, males would be ridiculous).

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